Amber Petit, left, was nine at the time of her death, and 20 years later her mother Andrea, right, is remembering that loss. Photos submitted by Andrea Petit.
It’s been 20 years since a boating accident at Cole Bay that killed four, and the mother of one of the victims says it’s been a struggle to recover and get where she is today.
Andrea Petit says on July 5, 1997, her daughters Amber, 9, and Ashley were out boating at Cole Bay with Andrea’s mother’s husband Lawrence Desjarlais and two other kids – Edward Desjarlais, 11, and Elenore Desjarlais, 9, both relatives – when they ran into trouble on the water.
While Ashley survived, Amber did not, nor did the other three in the boat. Andrea said she knows those deaths impact the community still today, and at the time she found the abrupt loss of her daughter and other deaths in the family too difficult to cope with.
“I couldn’t understand how things happened or why they happened,” she said.
“I started drinking to numb all my pain, all my hurt. I lost sight of my kids.”
For almost a decade, Andrea says she turned to partying and alcohol rather than addressing the death, as well as past abuse and the intergenerational effect of her mother’s residential school experience. The depression and loneliness that came with the booze led her to suicidal thoughts in 2008.
“I just didn’t care. My heart was just hard like a rock. I didn’t care who I hurt or how I hurt them. I was a very, very destructive woman and I needed help and I didn’t know how to reach for help,” Andrea says.
A friend reached out to her around that time and Andrea ended up going into treatment.
“I needed to look at myself, what I did wrong, and I needed to admit it and I needed to put all that pride behind me,” she said.
This included finding her spirituality, seeking forgiveness and also forgiving those who hurt her in the past.
Now, Andrea is nine years sober and living in North Battleford, with plans to go to school to become a correctional officer.
As the 20-year anniversary of her daughter’s death approached, Andrea says she driven by a desire to do right by her family and the Cole Bay and Jans Bay area where Amber died.
“I believe our stories as Indigenous people help one another and people can change,” she said.
“Whatever you’re dealing with with your own personal life, your storms that you’re going through. I just really encourage you to seek help, utilize the resources in your community. Reach out to somebody, it’s never too late.”